Tenten's Lovely Family
by extraordinaire
Summary: Tenten's family tends to be a little, well, crazy. But it doesn't matter to Neji, cause he loves Tenten the way she is, even if she has a sister named Ninenine and a perverted obaachan. Crackish three-shot.
1. Meet The Family

**Tenten's Lovely Family**

Chapter One:  
_Meet the Family_

* * *

"So Neji, father wants to know where you're going." Hanabi said while running into the brown-haired boy's room. Hinata was close behind her.

"To Tenten's house for dinner," Hinata smiled at her cousin's comment. He knew that Neji and Tenten had liked each other for a while now.

"Oh, is that that pretty girl that came over the other day; the one with the buns on her head?" Neji shook his head yes as he continued to brush his hair in the mirror.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Neji turned his head instantly at Hanabi's comment.

"No," He answered angrily, and then went back to combing his gorgeous, chocolate locks. See, he and Tenten were in the stage of relationship where it is obvious that they both liked each other, but don't do anything about it. They're best friends and flirt constantly with each other, but there had been no declarations of love, or anything like that.

"Neji-san," Hinata started. Neji turned to face her, just realizing that she had been there the whole time. He shook his head, telling her to continue. "W-well, you see, T-Tenten-chan's family can b-be kind of c-crazy."

"What do you mean?" Neji asked. Even though Neji had known Tenten for quite a while now, she never mentioned anything about her family.

"U-um, you'll s-see." Hinata stuttered, nodded her head and left the room leaving a wondering shinobi.

…

"Tennie-chan, your boyfriend's here!" A little girl with brown hair yelled from the doorway. She was currently letting Neji, who had just knocked on the door of a surprisingly large house, in. Neji couldn't help but smirk at her name and he planned to most definitely torture her about it later.

"He's not my boyfriend, Kira!" Tenten confirmed while running toward the door. She calmed down at the door and spoke, "Hey Neji," She placed a piece of her bang behind her ear while smiling.

"Hey," Neji greeted. They looked at each other for a few seconds before the girl whose alleged name was Kira, spoke.

"What's his name?"

"Oh sorry, Neji, Kira; Kira, this is Neji, my teammate." The blush that appeared on Tenten's cheek when she said his name didn't go unnoticed by the little girl.

"Kiriko, Tenten likes a guy!" Kira screamed while running into the house. Tenten blushed again and stepped aside to let Neji in.

"Who does Tennie like?" A tall man with blonde hair and brown eyes asked while coming toward Tenten and jokingly running his fingers through her hair. She pushed him away and blushed.

"No one," She whispered while closing the front door.

"Who's that then?" Kiriko asked while pointing to the brown-haired boy in front of him.

"That's Neji, my teammate. Neji, this is my older brother, Kiriko." Neji nodded at the older man who looked about 18. Neji and Tenten were just two years younger.

"Well this is a surprise. Tenten usually keeps us out of her personal life. She never brought home anyone from her team; or guys for that matter. Only her friends," Kiriko stated while examining Neji. Neji felt pretty awkward.

"Um, yeah, well Neji and I are going to my room. Call us down when dinner is ready, okay?" Tenten asked noticing Neji's discomfort.

"Sure thing," Kiriko reassured while shaking his head. "Oh, and don't do anything in that bedroom of yours. Mom and dad are in the kitchen you know…" The boy was raising his eyebrows suggestively at this. Tenten just whacked him in the side of the head while rolling her eyes.

"Ignore him Neji." She stated while grabbing his hand and bringing him toward the large staircase to which he assumed led to her room.

"Oh. My. God! My sister, mingling with the opposite gender! This is crazy!" A girl with long brown hair, who looked just like Tenten, screamed while running toward her sister and her friend.

"Ugh," Tenten muttered while smiling apologetically at her teammate, who just smirked at her dismay. That caused her to smile.

"Well Ten, aren't you going to introduce me to this fetching male who must have gotten lost and you brought him back home because no guy in there right mind would hang out with you." Tenten groaned again.

"Neji, this is my twin sister, Ninenine. Ninnie, this is Neji Hyuuga, my teammate." Neji stared in disbelief at the girl who had her hair up. She never told him that she had a twin, especially a twin with an equally weird name.

"Ninenine?" Neji asked with a smirk on his face. Tenten started to laugh as the girl with her hair flowing, remained silent. "Seriously?" Tenten shook her head.

"I think my parents were drunk when they named us, but I could be wrong." Neji was chuckling along with his teammate now. Ninenine was still frowning.

"It's nice to meet you Ninenine." Neji said when he finally was in control of his laughter. Ninenine beamed at him for being such a gentleman.

"God, you're so hot!" Ninenine screamed out while hugging the surprised teen. Tenten rolled her eyes and tried not to seem jealous that her twin was embracing her long time crush.

"Ninnie, leave him alone." Tenten scolded while prying her off of him.

"Wait, Neji! I remember that name! Oh yeah, my sister says that name in her sleep all the time! Her room is right across the hallway from mine and at night, I hear her go, _"Neji, oh, Neji…"_ It makes so much sense now!" Ninenine raised her fists up in accomplishment.

"No I don't…" Tenten whispered. Neji just smirked at her.

"Jeez Tenten, why do you keep you hair up in those stupid buns when we have company," Ninenine asked, completely changing the subject. "I'm sorry for my sister's rudeness." Tenten shot her sister a deadly glare. Ninenine only smiled, walked over to her sister, and quickly cut of the bands that were holding up her hair with a kunai. "Much better,"

Neji stared in shock at Tenten with her hair down. She smiled sheepishly once she noticed his gaze. He smirked. Suddenly, Ninenine had a realization.

"Wait, are you by any chance related to this girl named Hinata?" Ninenine asked.

"Yes. She's my cousin." Neji stated.

"Oh, that would make so much sense. Whenever Tennie here is on the phone with her, she's always talking about you. Plus, you have the same eyes." Neji smirked at Tenten's blush forming on her cheeks from her sister's statement.

"No I don't!" Tenten defended.

"So, do you like, like my twin?" Ninenine asked mischievously. Neji blushed.

"Who likes Tenten?" A little boy, about five, asked while coming out of a room in the hallway that they were currently in.

"Neji," Ninenine said while pointing over to the boy.

"Ooh! Neji and Tenten sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love-"

"Shut it Kiro!" Tenten screamed. "We'll be in my room!" Tenten grabbed her teammate's callused hand and brought him into her bedroom.

"You've got quite a lot of siblings." Neji stated while laughing. Tenten shot him a glare while sitting down on her bed.

"Yeah," Tenten sighed while looking off into space. "So, you like my room?" Tenten had just remembered that they were sitting on her bed.

Neji looked around the green room. All the walls were green and her bed's comforter was blue. It definitely didn't look like a girly-girl's room; but that's why Neji had always liked Tenten.

"I like it." Neji said as Tenten smiled. "I like your hair down, too." Neji moved a piece of her hair that was in her face, behind her ear. Tenten smiled as a crimson red appeared on both faces.

Their faces both started moving nearer to each other as eyes began to close.

"Dinner!" A high pitched voice from downstairs screamed. Both teammates moved away from each other quickly.

…

"Tennie, who's this dazzling fella," A middle-aged woman with blonde hair and blue eyes asked once Tenten and Neji entered the dinning room. Neji moved his gaze from Tenten, being how it isn't everyday that you see Tenten in a kimono, to the woman.

"Okasan, this is Neji Hyuuga, my teammate; Neji, this is Kikira, my okasan." Neji bowed in respect.

"Tenten brought a boy into the house?" An elderly woman asked while walking slowly into the dining room.

"Obaachan, this is Neji Hyuuga, my teammate. Neji, this is my obaachan, Kalindaria." Neji bowed again.

"So, this is your boyfriend?" The silver-haired woman asked while sitting down at the table.

"No, my teammate, obaachan; teammate," The elderly woman just swooshed her hands at them, as if dismissing Tenten's idea.

"Let's sit down to eat, okay?" A middle-aged man with brown hair and eyes, just like Tenten, suggested. Tenten beamed at the man and hugged him lightly.

"Neji, this is my otousan, Takuya, and otousan, this is Neji Hyuuga." Tenten explained. Neji noticed how she looked at the man with such love, making it evident that these two were close.

Neji pushed out the chair for Tenten and she blushed. Kira and Kiro started to laugh and tease with Ninenine as Kiriko smiled. Once Tenten was seated, Neji sat down next to her.

"So, do you guys use condoms?" Kalindaria asked. Neji's head moved up abruptly as Tenten spit out the water that she was currently drinking.

"What?" They both asked.

"You know, when you guys have sex. I guess I approve of it, but only if there is protection. Tenten is far too young for pregnancy, so-"

"Obaachan, stop," Tenten muttered while staring down at the table. Neji was doing the same.

"So, how long have you guys been sexually active?" The elderly woman tried again. Tenten rolled her eyes while groaning and hitting her head against the table repeatedly.

"How big is Neji's, well, manhood?" Ninenine piped in now. Tenten shot her a glare. Seeing that this didn't have an effect on her, Tenten turned to face her father with a pleading look placed upon her complexion. Her otousan just smiled apologetically.

"Do you do it in bed, or like on the training ground? It would be so hot if you did it on the training ground because it would get all dirty and-"

"Stop," Tenten ordered to her sister who abruptly shut up. Tenten couldn't take all the images appearing in her head at the conversation currently occurring. She blushed at just the thought.

"So it's both then?"

…

"I'm sorry my family is so crazy." Tenten apologized while looking at the oak wood of the deck she and her dinner guest were currently on.

"Mine's pretty crazy too, you know." Tenten smiled at him for being supportive.

"Not really. I've been for dinner with Hinata. But thanks for cheering me up. You always seem to do that." Neji smirked at her.

"The dinner was good. And the dessert, if that's any consolation."

"Thanks," All of the sudden, a golden retriever came running from a door on the back of the house. "Ah, Seki," Tenten started rubbing the dogs head.

"This might be the only sane person, besides me, in this house." Tenten stated while playing with the dog's ears. She placed a light kiss atop the furry dog's forehead. For some reason, Neji felt kind of jealous that he wasn't being kissed.

"Ah," Neji agreed while petting the dog on the head. Seki instantly moved over to Neji and rubbed his head into his knee.

"He seems to like you." Tenten laughed.

"_I_ like _you_," Tenten looked up at Neji and began to blush madly. Okay, so it was a bit corny, but _hello_, it's not everyday that Neji Hyuuga freely tells a girl that he likes her.

"I like you too." Neji smirked, completely forgetting about the animal that was currently getting dog hair all over his perfect attire.

"You may have a crazy family Tenten, but I have to give them a lot of credit for raising a girl such as yourself." Neji stated this while grabbing her hand. Tenten's blush, if possible, increased greatly.

"Thank you," She whispered.

"Kiss her already!" A voice yelled, coming from the bushes. Neji smirked as Tenten shot the plant a deadly glare.

Neji used his hand to turn Tenten's face away from the bush and placed his lips on hers. Tenten closed her eyes, as if on instinct.

Cheers and clapping could be heard all around, but neither teens heard, or cared.

Maybe Tenten's family wasn't so bad...

* * *

**POLISHED, YO!**

**Anyone always annoyed with fanfiction's that have Tenten's family really small and poor and stuff? I hate them! I really wanted to do something that showed like a crazy Tenten family and stuff, so here it is!**

**I was gonna make this a one-shot, but decided for it to be a three-shot!**

**Reviews are always loved!**


	2. Getting Caught In The Act

**Tenten's Lovely Family**

Chapter Two:  
_Getting Caught In The Act_

* * *

"Neji-san, are you going to Tenten-chan's house today?" He shook his head at his cousin, fixing the collar of his shirt. "They are a bit odd, right?"

He shrugged at Hanabi's question. He'd not bet them, but had heard the countless stories that Tenten and Hinata would repeat to Neji, while the shinobi would just nod, agreeing and smirking at what they said.

"What are you doing there?" He stopped at the question, but regained his composure and continued with his ministrations.

He shrugged again. "We're just hanging out."

But the smirk evident on his face proved otherwise—not that Hanabi would notice the falter.

...

"Tenten, you're boyfriend is here!" Kira screamed while Tenten smiled at the truth of her proclamation while running down the stairs to greet the man waiting. Once she stopped and straightened out, she greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, while he muttered his hello.

Kira glanced up at them both, asking, "Are you two going out training?"

Tenten shook her head, looking towards him. "No, he's been training too much for his own good. We're just going upstairs to hang out." The young girl shook her head, murmuring a quiet excuse and exiting the foyer. Tenten smiled at hour much older and mature her sister has been acting since the year her and the Hyuuga had been dating.

They were walking up to her room when they both got a taste of Déjà vu, for Ninenine happened to be right by the stairs, a smile in place. "Why hello Neji! How are you?"

It had become quite obvious that Tenten's sister had a not-so-secretive crush on her boyfriend, and albeit she was angry at her sister, and somewhat jealous, Neji would always assure her that she would always be held in highest regard.

It had never failed to make her blush.

"Good, and you?"

But Neji was always a gentleman and would remain that way, no matter how annoying Ninenine was, or how many times Tenten would complain.

After Tenten shot her sibling a glare which made her scurry off, they entered her room.

Once she closed the door behind her, she glanced over at her boyfriend who was lying innocently on her bed with that delicious smirk in place, she knew what he wanted.

She rolled her eyes, nevertheless, for she was far from in the mood, and her obaachan was right downstairs, her okasan as well. She was also sure Kiriko was, but he could have taken Kiro out for training.

She plopped down next to him on the material and he started kissing her neck, causing giggles to escape her mouth. "Neji, no. My parents are downstairs."

"I don't care." He growled before kissing her fully on the mouth, pushing her down on the bed. She tried to fight it for a little, but nonetheless succumbed to his ways. She moaned once he wrapped his arms around her waist and he groaned as she ruffled his hair with her delicate hands.

Once her shirt was off, she looked over at him, her eyes weary. "Neji, if my obaachan comes in, we'll never here the end of this."

"Hm, lock the door then." He trailed kisses down my neck, and then took off his shirt, pushing me on the bed more, and entering us into another heated make-out session.

It was only after they were in their underwear when the door opened, a girl with brown hair left in shock, that they covered up, Tenten grabbing the comforter and shielding her exposed chest while Neji grabbed his t-shirt from the ground.

Ninenine was still in shock from the scene before her eyes, but once she regained control, she got a malicious smile, and screamed, "NEJI'S RAPING TENTEN!"

I've never heard footsteps come up those stairs so fast.

...

"Tenten, I'm quite ashamed." Her scandalized okasan said, surveying the situation while sitting on the couch, the two (no dressed) teens in front of her.

The old lady next to her grinned gleefully. "Kirika, you knew it was bound to happen! Didn't you hear our first conversation with the young lad?"

Tenten sighed and her okasan just sighed. "Who could forget?" She muttered under hear breath.

"Now, sweetheart, did you use the condoms?"

Tenten cradled her head in her hands while groaning as Neji stifled a chuckle.

"Am I taking that as a yes?" When neither teens answered, the elderly woman shook her head, understanding. She lowered her voice to a stage-whisper—even if it was axiomatic that all parties in the room could hear what she was uttering—and questioned, "Now, what kind did you use? Cherry has never been a favorite of mine, but going natural was just out of the question."

Tenten choked on her own spit while Neji's face turned an interesting shade of red—though it had nothing on his cousin.

"Kalindaria! Don't speak such profanities in my house! They are far too young to actually be doing it, let alone know all the flavors of…_protection_."

The gray-haired woman rolled her eyes. "Darling, you don't understand the ways of the youth. It's a very complicated cycle, and what they're doing is merely a part."

"They're seventeen years old!"

"That's old enough to get married!"

The middle-aged woman stood in shock. "There is no marriage at such a young age!"

Tenten buried her head into her boyfriend's shoulder, hoping it would stop soon.

Her prayers were not answered when her sister asked, "So how did this start anyways? Was it in the forest, like I said before, it being wild and spontaneous? Or was it in your room, one day when all of us were coincidentally not home?"

Tenten groaned.

"Wait, I got it! You did it at NEJI'S house, since he probably has a lock on his door. But Neji was feeling particularly horny today, so he decided to come over here and do it, even though he knew the consequences."

Now it was Neji's turn to groan.

They both knew one thing that was for sure.

All intercourse would be done at Neji's house.

* * *

**Dudes, it's been forever. What's up?  
****Right. This is kind of weird, and rushed, and really just **_**odd**_**, but whatever.  
****It's really short too, my apologies. But get over it (please).  
****THE LAST ONE shall be longer. I promise.  
****I'm off to Disney, BITCHES!**


End file.
